Have you ever suffered from a
headache that never seems to go away or not being able to see the way you used
to? On Tuesday Milanicus Warfus announced two procedures that are now going to
be available to the average Roman citizen.
Warfus
tells us that they have been testing the first one, Trepanation, on slaves and
now, due to the high survival rate, him and his colleagues feel that it’s safe
to make it available to the average Roman.
During Trepanation,
the surgeon creates a hole into the patient’s skull using a special saw-like
tool. This surgery increases the blood flow to the brain as well as decreasing
pressure that might be present in the brain.
Warfus
believes that this procedure will cure epilepsy, a disorder that causes a
person to experience many seizures. A seizure is a violent attack that makes
the afflicted person look as though he is possessed an Jupiter is rattling his
soul around in his body.
This
surgery, according to Warfus, cures migraines. Migraines are headaches that
feel as though Pluto has unleashed his fury within your skull. They are also
recurring and happen at frequent intervals. If you or a loved one is
experiencing any of these symptoms he urges you to go to your nearest surgeon
and as for a Trepanation
The
second surgery he calls cataract surgery.
He says that a cataract is a clouding of the lens of the eye and makes
thus makes one’s vision blurry. To help break up the cataract the surgeon
inserts a thin, hollow needle into the tissue of the eye, but only through the
surface. The surgeon then uses the needle to break up the cataract. After the
cataract is broken up, the surgeon suctions out the pieces of the broken
cataract through the hollowed out part of the needle.
Warfus
says that the surgery has been tested on slaves and has a moderate rate of
vision improvement for the patient.
If you
think you are ailed with worsening vision or dark spots, Milanicus Warfus has a
series of associates, and he’s sure to have one near you.
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