Wednesday, December 19, 2012

New Treatments for Common Ailments



Have you ever suffered from a headache that never seems to go away or not being able to see the way you used to? On Tuesday Milanicus Warfus announced two procedures that are now going to be available to the average Roman citizen.
                Warfus tells us that they have been testing the first one, Trepanation, on slaves and now, due to the high survival rate, him and his colleagues feel that it’s safe to make it available to the average Roman.
                During Trepanation, the surgeon creates a hole into the patient’s skull using a special saw-like tool. This surgery increases the blood flow to the brain as well as decreasing pressure that might be present in the brain.
                Warfus believes that this procedure will cure epilepsy, a disorder that causes a person to experience many seizures. A seizure is a violent attack that makes the afflicted person look as though he is possessed an Jupiter is rattling his soul around in his body.
                This surgery, according to Warfus, cures migraines. Migraines are headaches that feel as though Pluto has unleashed his fury within your skull. They are also recurring and happen at frequent intervals. If you or a loved one is experiencing any of these symptoms he urges you to go to your nearest surgeon and as for a Trepanation
                The second surgery he calls cataract surgery.  He says that a cataract is a clouding of the lens of the eye and makes thus makes one’s vision blurry. To help break up the cataract the surgeon inserts a thin, hollow needle into the tissue of the eye, but only through the surface. The surgeon then uses the needle to break up the cataract. After the cataract is broken up, the surgeon suctions out the pieces of the broken cataract through the hollowed out part of the needle.
                Warfus says that the surgery has been tested on slaves and has a moderate rate of vision improvement for the patient.
                If you think you are ailed with worsening vision or dark spots, Milanicus Warfus has a series of associates, and he’s sure to have one near you.

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